Yesterday, things got a bit Sex & the City.
I was having dinner with friends, when one girl, let's call her Samantha, started talking about her current crush. They met at a party, flirted a bit, she followed up on Facebook, they chatted on Whatsapp, then had dinner with a mutual friend, then chatted some more on Whatsapp. Samantha really fancies him, although we all suspect she's rather superficial and it's just because she finds him attractive.
He has a girlfriend though.
This doesn't seem to have deterred her.
She said, over dinner, "I'm thinking of saying to him, you know if you didn't have a girlfriend we could have some fun."
My friend Charlotte said, "That's kind of sleazy. You should say we could have something special."
Samantha replied, "I don't really want a relationship though, I'm leaving soon."
Being Carrie, I said, "Well he has a girlfriend."
"Yeah," said Samantha. "But I don't know how serious that is."
"Um, you said they'd been together over a year and she's posted pictures on his Timeline of them on holiday together. It sounds serious," I replied.
"Yeah, so?" said Samantha. "I haven't felt this way about someone in ages."
Then Charlotte and Samantha butted heads.
"I don't know I would want to bring a guy to meet you," said Charlotte.
"What? Come on!" said Samantha.
"Yeah, you seem to have no respect for relationships," she replied.
"I don't think Samantha would steal her friends' boyfriends," I said, trying to be diplomatic.
***
Samantha, despite her lack of morals, believes in love at first sight. Citing Romeo & Juliet, I said that wasn't love, just hormones. She said she's known people who fell in love at first sight and are still married 30 years on. I personally think they thought each other was cute and then it just worked out. She is the kind of person who thinks all is fair in love and war.
I'm not conservative, I'm liberal about relationships. As Voltaire said, I have no morals but I'm a very moral person. But I think, in relationships, you shouldn't do things you know will hurt other people, just because you want something. It's so selfish. I don't think all is fair in love and war - I think you should try to be fair in love and war.
I'm the only one of the three of us in a long-term relationship. And unfortunately, people hit on me all the time here in this hot climate - so I mention The Boyfriend or just turn them flat down. But if someone I vaguely knew told me to drop him, so I could hook up with them, I'd be really insulted and tell The Boyfriend, who would get angry. And vice versa - if one of his female friends suggested dumping me and hooking up with her to him, I'd be so pissed off.
"Oh, I didn't realise you guys were serious," is not a good excuse.
"Get lost, bint," would be my reply.
I'm not against hooking up. But I don't think you should see a relationship and think you can just break it up, cos you want the guy or the girl. Or say, well I don't know how serious it is. If someone says I have a girlfriend, or I have a boyfriend, they're telling you something.
There are rules in war. There are rules in love. There are consequence to actions. One of my rules to life is, "Don't intentionally hurt people."
Call me crazy, but I don't think that's crazy at all.
I was having dinner with friends, when one girl, let's call her Samantha, started talking about her current crush. They met at a party, flirted a bit, she followed up on Facebook, they chatted on Whatsapp, then had dinner with a mutual friend, then chatted some more on Whatsapp. Samantha really fancies him, although we all suspect she's rather superficial and it's just because she finds him attractive.
He has a girlfriend though.
This doesn't seem to have deterred her.
She said, over dinner, "I'm thinking of saying to him, you know if you didn't have a girlfriend we could have some fun."
My friend Charlotte said, "That's kind of sleazy. You should say we could have something special."
Samantha replied, "I don't really want a relationship though, I'm leaving soon."
Being Carrie, I said, "Well he has a girlfriend."
"Yeah," said Samantha. "But I don't know how serious that is."
"Um, you said they'd been together over a year and she's posted pictures on his Timeline of them on holiday together. It sounds serious," I replied.
"Yeah, so?" said Samantha. "I haven't felt this way about someone in ages."
Then Charlotte and Samantha butted heads.
"I don't know I would want to bring a guy to meet you," said Charlotte.
"What? Come on!" said Samantha.
"Yeah, you seem to have no respect for relationships," she replied.
"I don't think Samantha would steal her friends' boyfriends," I said, trying to be diplomatic.
***
Samantha, despite her lack of morals, believes in love at first sight. Citing Romeo & Juliet, I said that wasn't love, just hormones. She said she's known people who fell in love at first sight and are still married 30 years on. I personally think they thought each other was cute and then it just worked out. She is the kind of person who thinks all is fair in love and war.
I'm not conservative, I'm liberal about relationships. As Voltaire said, I have no morals but I'm a very moral person. But I think, in relationships, you shouldn't do things you know will hurt other people, just because you want something. It's so selfish. I don't think all is fair in love and war - I think you should try to be fair in love and war.
I'm the only one of the three of us in a long-term relationship. And unfortunately, people hit on me all the time here in this hot climate - so I mention The Boyfriend or just turn them flat down. But if someone I vaguely knew told me to drop him, so I could hook up with them, I'd be really insulted and tell The Boyfriend, who would get angry. And vice versa - if one of his female friends suggested dumping me and hooking up with her to him, I'd be so pissed off.
"Oh, I didn't realise you guys were serious," is not a good excuse.
"Get lost, bint," would be my reply.
I'm not against hooking up. But I don't think you should see a relationship and think you can just break it up, cos you want the guy or the girl. Or say, well I don't know how serious it is. If someone says I have a girlfriend, or I have a boyfriend, they're telling you something.
There are rules in war. There are rules in love. There are consequence to actions. One of my rules to life is, "Don't intentionally hurt people."
Call me crazy, but I don't think that's crazy at all.
